Wellllll, yesterday was a day. A crazy one. The boy has had client stuff going on all week this week. This means he’s up at the crack of dawn, and comes home by 10 at night. That makes me a single parent (since Tuesday) and I will be as such until I drop Feebus off with Grandma tomorrow.
I was doing really well until yesterday. I just know my limits, and knew I was reaching them. Something about that makes me REALLY crazy. The wee one totally knew and acted out all day, probably in reaction to me being stressed. He locked himself in the bathroom, threw lots of fits, started running away everytime I needed to do something with him. UGH. It was just a day that I was very tired, and there was no rest for the me. I attempted to take him out for a walk which he loved, but then didn’t want to do anything else but walk. Wasn’t conducive to the shoe shopping I wanted to do.
ANYWAY - I survived, the boy came home, and we watched TV and cuddled and giggled. It was so refreshing just to have him in the same room, be able to have adult conversations, and relax. He’s sick, I’m so tired I think I have the virus too but my body’s REALLY fighting it, and it’s just crazy.
Tuesday night I got a call from one of my girlfriends that there was a speaker at a church in town a bunch of them were going to, and I should go. Desperate for companionship, and a night out, I scrambled around. Got great-grandma to watch Grant, got the car from the boy - drove the wee one over to Eagan and then came back.
It was SO worth it. The speaker was teaching on how to hear the voice of God. It was like manna I tell you. It ended up being a late night, but the wee one LOVED being at Grandma’s, and I LOVED having a night off, a night with my friends, and just a night with God. I’ve missed them, and I’ve missed the bible studies/speakers. However, it’s been confirmed to me over and over my little hang out at home period is NOT over yet. They were talking also about going to God instead of looking at other’s walks, books, shows, music etc.
I’m REALLY bad at that. I need to just pick up my bible and go from there but I don’t. I LOVE reading, and there are so many books I want to read, especially since there aren’t any I HAVE to read right now. I love music and if the TV isn’t on the music is. Just another way God’s getting me to look at Him. I just wish it was easier for me. I am just really looking at how much I look to routine, and THINGS for comfort. It’s unsettling.
Today is the National Day of Prayer, and as such the Feeb and I will be heading to church tonight. Here’s hoping I can get a shower in so that I don’t scare people away. It will be nice to have a couple hours to hang with the God, and have another BREAK!
And then tomorrow I will take the Feeb to Grandma. I’m a little nervous about how all that’s going to go. He hasn’t stayed with Grandma Kay yet, and while I know once he adjusts he’s going to have SO MUCH FUN, I just worry about the hand off. I worry that he’s going to freak out, and be really sad and scared. That will just break my heart, and I HATE doing that. BUT like I said it’ll be fine once he adjusts, and hopefully it won’t be too bad.
And I want you all to know my husband is officially soft. We’re talking baby names to pass the time until I actually am pregnant…and Gabrielle is the new name. He just sent me an email “Gabby Gabby Gumdrops” he says. He’s going to be in SO MUCH trouble if we have a little girl next. SO MUCH.
And I’m SICK OF NOT BEING PREGNANT YET. I tell you - give me a hopeful diagnosis and I’m ready to have a baby like yesterday. I can’t tell you how acutely painful it is…and all consuming. Two of my friends had their little girls on Saturday, and I am so excited for them, but still feeling left out.
*Sigh* I am really bad a being patient. Probably why it’s taking so long. 
