Well I am home after two GLORIOUS weeks at home with my family. There I saw one of my oldest and dearest friends, saw most of my family, and spent hours and days being an auntie to Ms Ashlynn. Today even Grant decided he needed to get in on the holding action, and it was the sweetest thing EVER. He rubbed her little face, and cooed at her, and it just made me smile. He’s the sweetest thing ever when he’s not playing in the mud, crashing cars, and flying around.
Grant learned to say, “Meow.” “Quack” and “Tweet” when you ask him what sounds animals make. He spent countless hours cuddling with my mom, wrestling with my Dad, and playing with my brother and sisters. He took to my friend Kels right away, and greeted her like they were old friends. He saw his Grandma K, and his Great Grandpa H. He saw his Aunt Suzanne and cousins Hannah and Sarah. He went to two hockey games.
It was a full, busy, crazy two weeks, and I can honestly say while I’m glad to be home to my own space. I miss Des Moines. I missed Des Moines before we even left.
This conversation has been going on in our house for quite some time. This weekend it came to a head. The things we do know are that we are moving somewhere by November. Where we are not sure yet. We have to pray, figure out a bunch of logistics, and figure out where God wants us to go. That last part about God is the most important. My grandparents house in Indianola sits empty. This is a huge house, with all my childhood memories in it, and a lot of potential - not to mention a killer deal. I WANT to live in this house. We could buy this house, have all the kids we want and never have to move again. It needs a lot of cosmetic updating, and so it’s an older house we could make our own. Financially, we could afford to buy it because of the difference between the value of the house and what we would pay for it. It would seriously be a dream fufiller to live in the house.
BUT, my husband is not easily convinced. He likes to live close to things, perferrably the interstate, and hates the idea of being out of Des Moines period. I see a community we could be involved in, good schools for our kids, sidewalks, parks, and a childhood close to something I had. He sees a dead end, with a long drive to see everyone and everything. He hates inconvenience, and avoids it at all costs.
I just think about us sitting on the porch in the summers, Grant playing in the yard. Our little girl running down the steps in the GIANT backyard…getting married :) just like I used to when I was little. I think about a HOME, a settling point, a place that everything radiates from. Dinners around a table, a routine, a LIFE. Not traveling four hours south to get to family…not packing up everything once or twice a month and going down.
I see my family when I look at that house. We went there this weekend to look at the house, and I was prepared to feel sadness, and for my husbands disparaging comments. I was not prepared to remember so much, and to fall more in love. I heard the chimes on the porch and instantly went back to digging up worms in the yard, sledding down the hills, sitting in my Grandma’s lap, combing her hair…running up and down the stairs…my Grandma laughing as my Dad would yell, “Stay in or stay out!!!”
The gift of raising my babies there, OH MY LORD.
I’ve been at such peace about it too. I have prayed, and honestly I’ve dreamt. I usually don’t let myself do that because I’m scared of the consequence of that, but this time I’ve trusted God with my dreams. I’ve put it in his hands, and while I worry I won’t live there and I would be sad about that…I know I can’t see all but that He does.
So we’re talking. There are a lot of ifs, would the boy work remotely (That’s my favorite, to have Daddy home all the time? Um yes please.) Would he find a different job…would we go somewhere else? San Franciso, Seattle, Kansas City, Chicago?
I’m thinking it’s time to come home, I am ready to plant some roots, and watch them grow. I want to bring my next baby into a home. 
BUT it’s not my plan alone. I have three boys who have to weigh in, so we’ll see. I’m okay with it. I just listen to my Grandma’s chimes, and play what if.
