So this morning was good. The boy left, the wee one and I got up around 7:45. YES - that my friends is called sleeping in.
The wee one played and played and played and watched his shows. He’d come over to me every once and awhile like usual for a hug or to show me something.
10:30 rolls around, and he starts acting sleepy, so off to bed we head right? I read him four stories because I was a little worried about him not being in the mood for a nap. Then I laid him down. He gets right back up, and I can feel my stomach start to do the “Oh no - not good.” Mommy knotting. I lay him right back down, and he stayed so I think okay.
Well now it’s about 10:50, and he’s screaming and he won’t lay down, and he won’t stop screaming, and he’s not showing any signs of stopping soon. He slows down and sounds like he’s laying down to sleep, but he’s in his crib and standing up and yelling.
I would like to say that I would be able to handle this so much better, were I allowed to just do things my own way in my own time. I would say about 125% of my anxiety comes from textbook scenarios of how childern are “SUPPOSED” to behave being applied to my home. Right now I’ve gone in every five minutes as dictated, and I want to die. I hate my child screaming, and I don’t like how I’m forced to parent him.
My world would be he’d sleep in the same bed with me, and right now I would be taking a nap too. Our bond would be great, and he’d not have to FREAK out about being alone and taking a nap. But who am I? Just a woman, mom, no one really.
Still crying! WOW. I better go in again and lay him down. Maybe this time he’ll sleep!!! (Note - sarcasm)
