Milieu of Me

Okay - following is an update of mass porportions. I know I’ve sucked at blogging lately, but I don’t have it in me to blog much anymore. I’m tired, I’m busy, and I’m blogged out. I’m recently experiencing blog angst, and that makes me want to never look at my blog again.

And John Edwards shouldn’t be running for President while his wife is dying. I think that shows what kind of person he is, and if I were Mrs. Edwards I would be filing some paperwork. I don’t care WHAT she says, you don’t leave your wife alone during something like that. It’s heinous.

And I’m voting for Giuliani in the 2008 election so far. I’ve researched where he stands on the issues, and I would like to say that my husband as usual, is wrong about what he believes. I like his policy, so there.

Well we made it home from Austin and SXSW. The boy and his friend had SO much fun, and I thoroughly enjoyed the abundance of sleep and me time. I mostly dreamed of New York but you know how that goes.

It was amazing to me what life is like without a baby, when you have one at home. The boy and I literally ached for him to be with us, but shamefully enjoyed the ease at which we went into restaurants and shopping establishments so quickly. We also slept like we haven’t since October 2005. It was amazing. It was just nice to be together when we could, talking and actually looking at each other. We spend so much time starting at the Feeb. It’s silly. Sometimes I will smile at the boy, and he’ll yell, “HI!!!!” like he hasn’t seen me in weeks. Such as life with a Feebus. And now that we are back at home, he’s fully working again and being late all the time, and all three of us are sick. It sucks. A lot. I want to go back to vacationland.

New York was amazing as I said before. Grant and I hit the Met on our third day there, and we were accosted by a group of “Linda Richmond’s” (AKA Mike Myers, Saturday Night Live), who were yelling, “Look at this child!” at me and Grant. It was the best thing EVER. And I got told about five or six times that Grant was a little piece of modern art. ☺ It was touching to me the outpour of people, I expected people in New York to be jerks, but they were so kind to us.

And my best part. There was this man in the Greco-Roman statue hall. He was elderly and just sitting there watching the people go by. I sat down next to him to lull Grant to sleep, but not before the wee one noticed this man and reached for him and smiled. He has this habit of doing this with elderly people and it’s such an innocently beautiful thing that I love about his little spirit. He smiled at this man, and the man just sighed…. in such a way that this little baby was too much. The man looked at me and had this misty look on his face and said, “Enjoy him, and just love him. Love him, love him, love him.” I’m used to people saying to me how cute and sweet and happy Grant is but this caught me off guard. It actually took the breath out of me a little, and it may sound weird, but I felt like I was close to this man in a weird way. I smiled at him, and my heart broke a little bit and assured him that I already have and I wouldn’t take him for granted. He smiled at me and said, “Time just goes so fast.” We sat in silence there, and I was surprised how profound the moment was. I was sitting with the beginning of life in my lap, with the end of life looking at me…. and he was wishing. God reached out to us there in that busy crazy place. There was something about that that I will never forget.

We went to Ground Zero, too, and I was looking for a profoundness to be there but there just wasn’t. It’s a giant construction pit, and you can’t really tell anything happened there. There is a lot of signage, and I’m sure once they figure out what they are doing there it’ll be different but I just couldn’t picture it or feel anything. I was disappointed because I couldn’t really be they way I wanted to be there.

And it was really cold there. We bundled Feeb up and he hated his life. He thought he couldn’t move his arms and legs. He did like cabbies though. He was stoked that he got to escape his car seat around town.

Austin was just me cruising around; I shopped mostly, slept in. Met the boy for lunch and dinner when he could squeeze me in. I drove to San Antonio, to try and see the Alamo and check out the Riverwalk. The line was long, and I didn’t wait to see it quite that bad. So I went to the Riverwalk and hung out. Then I drove back. I also hit a GIANT outlet mall in San Marcos that had Kate Spade, Pottery Barn OUTLETS. It was crazy fun.

Now we’re back at home, and we’ve found a house to rent with the boy’s mom. She’s going to live on the lower level and we’re going to live upstairs. It’s across from our church on Divinity Lane and we cannot wait. Mark your calendars for Grant’s July 4th birthday celebration in our GIANT back yard. It’s going to rock.