Dear Angelina Jolie,
I know that you just got a little boy from Vietnam. Congratulations. I just wanted you to know that before you ever made a baby with Brad Pitt, or ever saw Brad Pitt’s underwear I WAS GOING TO ADOPT A BABY FROM VIETNAM.
See now you’ve done it, everyone will want to do it, and I will never get a baby from there now.
I don’t think you understand, see, it’s my dream to adopt a little baby from there. I’m serious, and now I’m a little perturbed. Even though I bought all Team Jolie stuff, and I’m secretly glad that Brad Pitt is with you now because he’s much hotter when he’s a Daddy and all shaggy.
Much, much hotter. Not as hot as say Kirk Cameron, but pretty close.
Good thing I have God. Because he’ll get me a baby, even though you tried to ruin it.
Thanks a lot.
Ppppffffftttt,
Ms. Pants
PS - Eat some cupcakes. You’re too skinny.
