Okay, sorry. This week has been craziness. The boy has been working long hours, and tonight he heads of to the men’s retreat at church for the night, so my usual breaks have not been happening. Plus the wee one is a bit under the weather I think, with a cold, so when he gets tired and cranky, he’s not messing around. It’s all a little time consuming. 
Anyway, the other thing that happened this week was on Tuesday morning. It kind of shook everything up around here, as one of the ladies in my bible study had an episode. Evidently she struggles with severe depression issues, and a history of physical abuse and has these episodes when there is a trigger. I thought that she was possessed by a demon and witnessing an exorcism, and instead of calling anyone from my group to talk about it, I worried and blew it way out of porportion. It seriously was very scarey though, and while it probably has something to do with demonic influences it was not the Exorcist in the middle of bible study. Thank goodness. I was hiding out in my house freaking out, and being really disappointed that my nice little bible study and fun time at church was ruined. This was not the case at all, and I learned a lot more about spirituality and the Holy Spirit stuff in the process.
Anyway I think God used this to show me that I’m scared of a lot of things I shouldn’t be scared of because I’m an ADULT Chrisitian person, and honestly enough is enough. I either believe in God and start acting like it or I bail yet again. Sooooo, I made a decision this past week anyway and decided to start acting like it. This week I’ve starting being offended by things, like swearing and I have HARDLY been swearing at all. This my friends itself is a miracle from God. Plus I’ve been seeing stuff on TV that I’m like that is really something I just can’t watch, or I think it’s offensive, and it’s just cool to me the changes in my thinking that are taking place.
The boy and I are having many discussions about this and he and I are in a weird place right now anyway, so add all this change to it and it’s making things between us kind of ingnitable. It’s been a hard week for both of us, and I’m hoping once he gets some rest and I feel like he’s HOME we’ll be able to communicate a little better and feel more connected. He’s been CRAZY busy this week with work going NUTSO, he’s been working late most of the week, and then coming home and trying to help with Grant. Then we’ve been fighting and staying up late handling that, and he’s just emotionally exhausted. We really had a good talk last night though, so I’m optimistic that I can do the things I need to to help him, and vice versa. Regardless of all of the conflict, we’ve been so good this week about just flatly saying to each other, you know what…this isn’t working and trying to really talk to each other instead of just eating it and blowing up. Progress is ALWAYS good.
The wee one is an amazing little progression, speaking of progress. He’s madly in love with his Daddy this week, and once the boy arrives home he takes him and they just get each other all sorts of riled up. He’s really starting to giggle and coo, and it’s just awesome. This morning, I got up as the boy was leaving, and Mr. Grant was tired and ornery. He was kicking around and playing with his bottle whilst eating it, and couldn’t settle himself down. This always results in him crying and throwing a fit before he can go to sleep….fun for Mommy…..but this morning he eat started getting really fussy, so I put him in the swing and let him fuss around a little bit and he ZONKED. He’s doing this thing where after I put him down to sleep he’ll wake up and fuss, so I go pick him up and he’ll fall asleep as soon as he hits me. That’s been interesting too, but I think as soon as I remembers that just because I’m not where he thinks I should be doesn’t mean I’m gone we’ll do better. He’s still sleeping in really good sized chunks, four to seven hours depending. This week he’s always taking a morning nap, and being asleep between 9:30 and 10:30 at night so we’re progressing toward a routine I think.
In other news, the baby bug is hitting me again. I know, it’s crazy and I don’t understand it, but the cuter Grant gets the more I’m like I NEED MORE OF THESE. I told the boy yesterday when Grant turns one I want to start trying for another and he looked at me like my head spinned around. We’ll see when I’m chasing him around on two legs how I feel about adding a newborn to the mix. It may be this time of year and it’s bringing back all the magical of last year and the pregnancy, and I just want to be pregnant again and get to do all that again. It’s SUCH a miracle. One of the girls in my bible study is pregnant with her FIFTH, so I guess I should live vicariously through her for awhile.
Anyway the wee one is stirring…so more later.
