Okay a few basics:
1.Make sure your kids aren’t around during target practice, you STUPID STUPID MAN
2.While boating watch out for big stationary objects, don’t drink, and wear a life vest for crying out loud
3.Don’t whore out your 91 year old father/grandfather for a book deal, especially something called, “Deep Throat,” which will be confused for a porn by blue collar Amercia
4.Again with the not watching the kids…WATCH THEM. Don’t go next door when there are sharp things!
5.No matter how rich or famous, marrying a dude with your name should tell you something.
6.After American Idol make sure you come up with some other reason why you are cool because it won’t get you press after the finale.
7,The American Media Machine is RETARDED
8.Persistance will get you everywhere in the good ol’ USA
9.
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